Big Daddy rides his bike every Saturday morning regardless of the weather. His riding partner was out of town this weekend and on a lovely spring day that was perfect for bike riding, he was stuck with me. He tried to act like it wasn’t painful but I recognized his sadness and decided to make our morning fun.
Once a year, the burbs around here have large item pickup. Homeowners can put anything on the curb and the city will pick it up at no cost. I’m after the old stuff – trunks, gardening tools, dressers, chairs. With my big sale coming up in June, I needed some goods to repurpose that were free in nature. I shop well alone but sometimes you need two people to heft the large items into the car. Enter Bee as in the Dee.
I think it’s safe to say that digging thru other people’s garbage is not for everyone. BD was reluctant to participate and wanted to wear a ski mask so nobody would recognize him. Hey, we’re not robbing their house, we’re robbing their garbage. A ski mask could be problematic with homeowners and God knows here in Kansas people defend their property (even when they don’t want it) if you know what I mean.
He started to make small talk since it was technically a date, but when I’m in the garbage zone I don’t like to be chatting. “Oh”, he said, “sorry to disturb you.” No worries, just pretend I’m you watching River Monsters. Then this, “Just so you know, I’m not enjoying this.” What did he say? Since when did he start thinking that marriage was supposed to be enjoyable? Hey, I’ve got an idea, let’s stop talking to each other. Lookie, here, I’m having more fun already.
Thirty minutes into the excursion and mighty slim pickings, BD starts bouncing his leg. Oh no he didn’t. Yeah, he was having a Flomax moment. He was plenty sorry about that what with all the coffee and such and said he’d try to hold it for awhile. Hold it like I do except when I cough, sneeze, push, pull, lift, bend over or laugh. So with one stinkin’ ladder to my name, we turned around and headed home.
The next day I found out that the town divided pickups over three weekends according to neighborhood. Thank ya, Jeezus. As I write, the remaining citizens of Overland Park are perusing their basements and garages and while they may think of it as spring cleaning, I call it Christmas in April. Giddyup and drink all the coffee you want, BD. Plan B is to buy the economy size of Depends cuz you and me have two more dates scheduled and we’re not leaving until the wagon is full. I can almost pee my pants in excitement.