Month: December 2011

Whew

If you’ve read this blog from the beginning, you know that one of the reasons I vowed to start writing on a daily basis was due to my cousin’s wife, Carol.  Whenever I wrote something for my writers group, I’d send it to her to read, and she was enormously supportive.  Her presence among us has been missed greatly this past year, but when I meet up with her again I’ll be able to honestly say that I worked hard at this writing thing.

The other reason I have been able to do this the last year is because of Mark.  He is very proud of what I’ve written, even when he is often cast in an unflattering light.  He has pushed this web address on everyone he knows, and I have picked up steady readers due to him.  One day, I hope to make some money as a writer, but time will tell on that one.  I daily feel guilt about not contributing to the financial obligations around here, and there are many.  When we recently talked about it he said, “You brought home the paycheck while I was in graduate school pursuing my passion.  I’m just doing what you did for me.”

Well, I’d kind of forgotten about that.

I’m taking off until the end of the year to hang with my peeps and enjoy the holidays.  Thank you for reading this and passing it along to your friends.  As we head into the new year, I highly recommend moving any of those dreams from the back burner to the front.  Today.

In the meantime, when this guy sings this song…….oh my.  A most Merry Christmas and Happy New Year…………..

Early Christmas

Teacher Girl and Prince Charming are headed to South Dakota to spend Christmas with his family.  Whom we happen to have a big crush on.  They did this last year, as well, so we celebrate early with them before they hit the road.  It could be my most favorite time of the holidays because we have so much fun.  Secret Santa comes to town, we play a board game and since it’s a week before December 25th, nobody is tired and cranky.  The pics…

                          The Boy Child with wine glasses.  It’s good to be 21.

Prince Charming seriously likes his new slippers.  That tree????  Sheesh.

                         The Big Daddy got warm socks for those cold biking days.

                                                     New book. Yeah!!!!!

                          The Teacher Girl is about to unwrap something good.

                                       Mallie Bee looooooves her accessories.

God bless us everyone.  Oh yes.

The Last One

My dad loved Christmas.  He was involved in all of it, and before Martha Stewart even gave it a thought, he would go out in the yard to cut evergreens for our Nativity set.  When it came to buying a gift for Mom, he’d take one of us girls with him to help pick out something.  The year his cancer had come back, and he was knocked flat most days by his treatment, he was still determined to go out and find her present.  A few days before Christmas, we all went to the mall, Mom included, to shop.  Because I didn’t live close by and really hadn’t been able to help much, I offered to go with Dad while Mom and my sisters did their shopping.

Walking with him was a slow process, but we got to Mom’s favorite store and he took his time finding her something, and when he did he was pretty pleased with himself.  We had plenty of time left before we needed to meet up with everybody else, so I found a bench for him to sit on.  I still had some things to shop for and he told me he’d be content to rest and people watch.

I would go into a store, run out to check on him, go to another store, check on him.  This lasted nearly an hour and then we had to make the long, slow walk to meet Mom and my sisters.  He was exhausted.  Happy to have gotten out and more than happy to be going home to bed.

That was 22 years ago and I remember every minute of it, down to the gift he bought Mom.  I think we all knew that was going to be his last Christmas with us, and attempting to make it seem normal was a difficult thing to do.   For every time I approached that bench at the mall, I saw Dad……so sick and trying so hard.

Losing ####

I have been underweight my whole life.  Smallest kid in the class all the years I was in school.  Weighed 86# the first time I got pregnant.  I come from small women.

That changed a few years ago, when a few pounds crept on.  Then the next year, a couple more.  You get where this is going.  I can’t blame menopause because that happened ten years ago due to ruptured ovarian cysts.  That was the summer I lost 13# due to the mess my body was.  The good old days.

Today I ran into someone who is about 5-10 years older than me and T.H.I.N.  Really thin.  I told The Big Daddy about her when I got home and said maybe she’s one of those older woman who has an eating disorder.  Poor thing.  Or maybe she isn’t stuffing Fannie Mae candy in her mouth every time she goes in the kitchen.  Maybe chips and salsa aren’t her mainstay.  Maybe she exercises every day.  Really exercises instead of moseying around the neighborhood with her elderly dog.  Maybe she sweats.

I’m thinking that it’s time for me to stop listening to that inner voice that’s a complete whack job, and reverse course before I’m on the losing end of a bet to see if my fat ass could make it all the way to Des Moines.

The Gift

From the archives of The Big Daddy Bad Behavior file…………..

Years ago, we used to drive from Maryland to Illinois to spend Christmas with our families.  With little kids, it was a huge job to get them and everything they needed, plus all their Christmas presents, loaded up and into the car for the twelve hour drive.

We would arrive a few days before Christmas, and one or both of us would have to make a trip to the mall to finish up.  One year, The Big Daddy needed to make the trek on Christmas Eve to get a gift for me.  He was gone for hours, to the point where we were getting worried about him.  He finally made it back and went off to a bedroom to wrap his treasure.

And what could be this gift that took hours for him to find?  I couldn’t imagine.

On Christmas morn, when the kids had finished their Santa gifts, he presented my present.  I was full of anticipation, and ripped off the wrapping to discover a Stitchery Kit of Two Deer In The Woods.  Well, that wasn’t what I was anticipating.  Or wanting.

He explained that on the way to the mall, when he was driving by way of the Forest Preserve, he saw two deer in the woods and that’s when it came to him.  That deer live in the woods, I asked.   No, no, he said, that a deer themed gift was a sign.  Too bad the mall wasn’t by way of a diamond mine. 

My mom observed this and without saying a word, got up and went into the kitchen.  When I came in, she said, “I gave him plenty of ideas, even offered to go with him.  Who gets the mother of toddlers a gull damn project to do?”  My Big Daddy, that’s who. 

By then it was 12:00 somewhere and she cracked open the wine and poured us a glass.  Separated by many years, we each had our crosses in life to bear.  Dad, who took NINE YEARS to remodel the kitchen, and me, married to a guy who goes to every store in town on Christmas Eve to find a wildlife kit for his wife to stitch.

Another day.  Another Christmas.  Another star in the crown.

Christmas Ken

You may remember reading about Ken on my walks with the dog.  Lonely Ken.  Looks for me to talk to Ken.  Married to Barbie.

I saw Ken the other day raking about five leaves in the yard, and he stopped to chat and wish me, my family and my little dog, too, the best Christmas ever.  And a wonderful New Year because I have been so kind to him over the years.  No, I haven’t, Ken.  You’re being delusional.  We talked about our plans for the holidays and all was friendly until he said this……….

“I had the idea to watch for you so I could run out with some mistletoe and give you a Christmas kiss.”

Ken, Ken, Ken, that’s a dumbass idea.  And if I were you, I’d be real careful because Barbie’s watching you right now from the window of her dream kitchen, and sharpening the knife she’s going to use to Bobotize your molded plastic Manhood if you don’t stop hitting on chicks walking their dogs.

Merry Christmas.  You’re welcome.  Now I have to find a new route.

Oh Christmas Tree

This is me trimming the tree……

and yes, my waist really is that small.   In my dreams.

We ditched our fake tree and have been buying real trees these last few years.  The Big Daddy Lumberjack likes to cut the trunk so it’s nice and straight in the stand.  I cut a few branches to decorate with, and it’s like a Norman Rockwell painting around here on Decor Day.

By day’s end, when the house is a wonderland of Christmas, The BD and I sit on the couch with a glass of wine looking at our pretty, pretty tree.  Without fail, a strand of lights will stop working.  That’s when we will try to jury rig it, check the bulbs, shake the tree, uplug and replug the strands, and check the outlet.  What we almost always do as well, out of sheer frustration, is give it the finger.  Which really doesn’t do anything, but crack us up because we have the maturity level of ten year olds.  This year I checked every strand of lights, plugged them into one another to double check, plugged them into the outlet, unplugged them, put them on the tree, decorated the tree and plugged the lights in.  Half the tree was not lit and I let out a string of curse words that was as long as those crappy, made in China lights.

In this season of peace, love, and joy, that hunka evergreen irritates me every time I look at it.  I don’t have the time to figure out what the problem is and turned it so the front and back are lit. The sides are scared of the dark and crying at night for some lights, but I DO NOT CARE.

No, I do not, for it is ELEVEN days until Christmas, and on day TWELVE, I can pitch that tree, lights and all, right out the front door.

Merry Everywhere

The holiday decor…………………..I did the living and dining room in apple green and silver.

Our bar on top of the dresser I got for $20.00 at a yard sale.  The intent was to refinish it and sell it, but in the process I fell head over heels.

 The mantel………….

And mini ManLand was done in reds………….

 Including The Big Daddy’s hockey trophies from back in the day………..

The hallway holds the AWESOME sheet music wreath that Nancy made me last year (and still available at the Prairie Girls Market at Good Company this weekend).   Shameless plug, but I can’t help myself.  And what of the Christmas tree????  That story is tomorrow.