Month: March 2012

The Mexican Diaries: Highs and Lows

Every night when we ate dinner, Mary (our cruise director) made us go around the table and say what our high and low of the day was.  We all kind of thought it was hokey in the beginning, but it became my favorite way to end the day.

This is Nonie, my friend, travel companion and lucky duck owner of a condo in Mexico.

I have known her for years as our daughters have been friends since 1st grade.  It was our first time traveling together and I think we’d be good contestants on The Amazing Race.  Except we’d lose the first day because we both have to stop and pee all the time.  When that statue guy moved when we dropped money in his bucket, I seriously nearly peed in my pants.

What I found out about myself during High/Low time was that nature was my daily high.  I loved seeing the stars at night.  The moon over the ocean was jaw dropping gorgeous.  The sound of the waves crashing on the shore lulled me to sleep .  Sitting on the patio every morning with a cup of coffee watching bat rays jumping out of the water like they were on a trampoline.  The pelicans who seem to think they’ve been invited to every party.

And spending time with this cutie patootie before she leaves for college, who takes everything in stride including falling in the pool with all her clothes on.

Riding The Rails

The Boy Child went with some friends by train to Chicago for spring break.  He toured a couple of design firms and said he just may end up living there after college.  Go for it, young man, go for it.

While they were there they had a discussion with an older, wealthy acquaintance of someone in their group about the trip.  They told him they came by way of Amtrak.  “Train?” he asked.  Why would you do that?”

The Boy Child told me this and said he never wanted to be rich because “those people tend to be douchebags when it comes to stuff like riding a train.”

Lesson delivered.  Lesson learned.  All aboard.

The Mexican Diaries: Making A Living

When I was in Mexico, I was amazed at how people go about making a living.  At the Mega store (which is like Target), the employees near the register are also selling time shares.  Asking where something is just might cost you a lot of bucks and a two week stay in a place you never heard of.

On the beach, you can buy a straw hat or a beach towel.  Just like hot dog vendors at the ballpark, these guys go up and down all day long trying to make a sale.

The stores…………….they’re waiting for you.  Pretty lady, I’ve got some jewelry for you.  Or Viagra.

But the most amazing way to make a living to me were the guys in parking lots who wheel shopping carts full of buckets of water to clean your car, and do a fine job with little to work with.

Senior Tuesday

This is my favorite thrift store.  I frequent it often and have found some amazing things there.  Vintage picnic basket $4.99.  Camel hair coat $7.99.  Mad Men inspired cocktail shaker $3.99.  Silk black dress $12.99.

If you bring a donation, you get a 20% discount.  I can always find something to get rid of.  Like the cats.  Sometimes, though it’s a little tough to come up with anything.

I have found out that at the age of 55 one qualifies for a 25% senior discount every Tuesday.  I don’t think I look 55.  I usually don’t feel 55.  The idea of saying that I’d like the senior discount is disturbing to me, but………

I’ve always been a whore for a few bucks off.

The Mexican Diaries: My Bags Are Packed I’m Ready To Go

On our last night in Mexico, Nonie and I went to an Office Max to use their computer to print our boarding passes.  First we had to have an employee unlock it so we could get on the internets.  Then, because we’re 50-something dorks, we had to figure everything out like we’d never seen one of them there computers before in our life.  FYI…….imprimir means “print” in Spanish.

Nonie tried about five times to get their boarding passes to show up on the screen with the same response each time……….We’re sorry  We moved on to ours and they printed with no problem.  Why the heck wouldn’t hers print???  The confirmation code was some letters with an “o” or could it be a zero?  We tried every combination.

After a few minutes, she looked at the print out of her email and gasped.  Then she showed me.  We looked at each other and at the same time said, “OH MY GOD!”  With maybe an ef bomb or twenty in there, too.


At that very moment she was supposed to be on a plane that was minutes from landing in Phoenix.  El problemo amigo……..she and I were cussing like a couple of sailors AT AN OFFICE MAX SOMEWHERE IN MEXICO. 

We drove like crazy back to the condo and she got on the phone with the airlines who got her and Mary on a flight leaving the day after us.  In the morning, she took us to the airport and came back here for one more day………

………..while I was headed to Phoenix and taking a long, slow swan dive into the-vacation-is-over-pool.

The Mexican Diaries: Moby Dick

Amongst the five of us travelers, there was a discussion about whether we should take a sunset cruise or a whale watching cruise.  Whale watching, whale watching, oh please, oh please, oh please.  The majority decided on the sunset cruise.  Boo to the hoo.

We boarded a catamaran with the hunkiest deckhand in Mexico.  True story.   His name was Kale which coincidentally rhymes with whale.   This is the back of him because taking a picture of the front of him would be too obvious.  And desperate.  Maybe even pathetic.  Notice the cool tattoo on his right calf.  I did.  Often.

Nonie and I sure were having fun on that cruise with the mai tais, the sunset, the girls, the scenery.  Kale.

The captain came on deck to tell us that the whales have been active and we should look out yonder.  Whales on the sunset cruise?  Oh please, oh please, oh please.  I was scanning the water constantly, but the sun was going down and the water started looking blacker so every ten seconds I thought I saw a whale.   False story.   I gave up my search and told myself to enjoy the night, stop whining about the whales, get over it sista.  You still have Kale to look at.

And shortly thereafter, that’s when I saw a spout of water in the air and I jumped up in the boat screaming, “THERE’S A WHALE!!!  THERE’S A WHALE!!!”  I took this pic……….

Which won’t make the next issue of National Geographic.  Or ever.  Moby gave a slap of his tail and headed down to the underbelly of the ocean.  It was the best day.  Ever.

The Mexican Diaries: I Say A Little Prayer For You

The most lovely Catholic church in the village of San Jose del Cabo………………..

Whose interior was just as beautiful……………..

With a place to light a candle to Mary………….

…………or Joseph.

Or write your worries on a ribbon and leave them to a higher power……..

 ……and then a reminder that the least among us need our help.

 Simple.

The Mexican Diaries: The Common Denominator

Our first full day in Mexico, we went to an organic market.  Over the bridge, through the desert, past some livestock working their cowbells and along some bumpy terrain, we arrived.

We wandered past food cooking on a grill that smelled so good it stopped us in our tracks, as well as fruits, veggies, flowers, a dog adoption booth, handmade knit sweaters, homemade English muffins, jewelry, painters, rug weavers……….

We stopped at a table where an artist sold milagros and little altars that were incredible.  He described the process of making them, and the passion he had for his wares jumped into the air and bounced everywhere.   He had a story about everything he sold and said, “In order to be protected by the Holy Spirit you must believe.”   He looked me straight in the eye when I handed him my cash and asked, “Do you believe?”  

I think the flame of the Holy Spirit finds a home in the soul of those who create.  How could I not believe when I’d just come face to face with him?

The Mexican Diaries: Leaving On A Jet Plane

When I am about to go on a trip, I go into full-fledged anxiety mode.  Under my fat hair, my brain is in overdrive thinking of everything that can go wrong that will lead to A LOOMING DISASTER.  When somebody asks me if I’m excited about my upcoming travels, I’ll say oh yes can’t wait, but my smile says root canal.  By the time I get into the car to go to the airport, I am fine because my brain has finally worn itself out.

The night before we left for Mexico I had a dream.  A shopkeeper I know who was so horrible with customers that her employees rarely let her out of the back room, was putting “locator pins” in my neck so in case I got lost I could be tracked.  There were 19 of them………three large the rest small.  She put them in by first boring a hole with an electric drill and then inserting each pin into the hole.  The big ones?  They kinda hurt.

I related my dream to The Big Daddy in the morning and he said, “Sheesh.  Do you ever do anything thinking you’ll have a good time?”  Eventually Obi-Wan-Kenobi, eventually.  We chuckled over my freak night and I got some coffee and the paper.

This was my horoscope…………

You might want to rethink a decision, even if you thought it was a good one.  Someone around you could be explosive and quite different than he or she usually is.  Tonight:  Head home.

Aye carumba.

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