Month: November 2020

Many years ago Mark and I went to Spain for a conference he was attending. We had three young kids at the time and it wasn’t cheap for me to fly there with him, but he came home one day and said he’d booked the flight despite me repeatedly saying we couldn’t afford it. His … Read more

There is a popular book that has been around for several years called The Body Keeps The Score. It is about the complexity of traumatic experiences and how the body physically reacts to the stress. I had heard about it long before Mark died and thought it sounded interesting until I had to live with … Read more

When I was a little girl my best friend lived across the street. She would often invite me to spend the night and I’d pack a small bag with my pajamas and toothbrush and proudly walk over with my mom for my overnight adventure. At some point during the night, I’d get homesick and start … Read more

Ever since Mark died, I rarely go to the grocery store that is five minutes from my house. In the beginning there were too many people I would run into who were worried about me and I didn’t want to start crying about my life over 10# bags of potatoes. In contrast, there were also … Read more

In the aftermath of Mark’s death, every single day felt like I was lugging around a trunk of sadness like a first class passenger on the Titanic. Instead of being able to pass it off to a steward like a wealthy heiress, I had to carry it wherever I went. It was heavy, cumbersome, and … Read more

In one of my therapy sessions my counselor told me that as the shock and devastation of Mark’s death subsided and time moved forward, that something different would takes its place. I longed for something different than the constant pain, and while I am receptive to everything about the subject, there are other times when … Read more