The Ants Go Marching One By One

Day by day, spring makes its presence known and as if somebody flipped a switch, the ants wake up and start invading the house.  Kitchen counters, cabinets, the sink…they’re all coming by for a look see at the improvements we’ve made to the crib in the last year.   None, so get your hyper, little fannies out of my kitchen.  

I have trouble figuring out how to end their life.  I bought some ant traps and put them in various spots where they congregate, but no luck.  Deep in the walls of the house, there must have been a big longevity seminar this winter sponsored by the Ant Life Insurance Agents of America.  #1 tip was likely to avoid the ant traps so I sweep them into the dishwasher or wipe them up with a sponge or use the sprayer and send ’em for a ride down the sink (wheeeeeee).  If I’ve really had it with their invading behavior, I start smashing them with my hand.  The other day, I consulted Mallie Bee on how I should kill this newest batch and she was appalled.  “Mom!!!  They’re just little ants.” (This is on the down low but I think she might be on her way to becoming one of those PETA types).

When I was a little girl and staying at my grandma’s house, I saw a mouse run across the kitchen floor and Gram said to me, “Honey, fetch me the broom and show me where it went.”  I did as told and when it came out she whacked that thing but good and killed it on the first try.  She didn’t mess around or wait for my grandpa to get home to take care of rodents.

When my mom saw ant colonies outside, she’d put the kettle on and let it come to a boil as if she were going to have a nice cup of hot tea in the middle of the day.  Instead, she’d march outside and pour that boiling water right down the little hole they were crawling in and out of.  Best summer show in town.

Some girls grow up learning skills like sewing or quilting that have been taught from one generation to another.  My people pass down extermination techniques.  My daughter may be tenderhearted now, but wait until she’s got a place of her own and them varmints decide to inhabit.  In the meantime, watch and learn, baby, watch and learn.

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