Month: May 2011

Job Hunting On Craigslist

 If I were only younger, I could have such a bright future……….

 Girls age 18-28 Needed for a Promotional Event

The job can pay up to $100-$500 a day, and we guarantee at least $50
The event will be an all day event, 8 AM to 6 PM
You are promoting a Natural Male Enhancement Product
Your job is to stand at our booth, look pretty, flirt with men, and sell our product
You make money for each pill you sell.

Luck of the Irish

Every morning I walk the dog.  Two different dogs, same route, 18 years.  Over that time, I’ve met a few people along the way.   

Around the corner from my street is a retired plumber who raised eight kids in a cape cod that was a better fit for a family of four.  With the weather being warmer, he’s out a bit more and so we often visit  before we both move on to the tasks of the day.  Last year I found out he has early Alzheimer’s.  I wouldn’t have known that then, but this year when he drew a blank right in the middle of a conversation, he told me that he sometimes has trouble finding the right words.  He no longer drives a car and gets around the neighborhood on his bike, which has made him fit everywhere but in his mind.

The other day he was outside puttering with his lawnmower.  We talked for a few minutes and then he looked at me and said, “You and me, we’ve got the luck of the Irish don’t we?”  Oh yes we do, kind man.  I told him I’d let him get back to work, but before I left he said, “Isn’t this a beautiful day?  This is the day the Lord has made.”  True on both accounts.

This dog of mine and I walked the last block home, and on that lovely spring morning, the wind was at our back, the sun shone warm upon our face and I said a prayer for the friend who always rises to meet me.

This Is What It Would Look Like

Fancy Nancy and I always daydream about the shop we’ll have one day.  It will be full of vintage goodness that we’ve uncovered, cleaned up and made fresh.  It will smell lovely when you walk in, there will be music playing and you’ll be able to help yourself to a cup of coffee while you spend a few stolen moments away from the business of life.

It will look like this from the street and if it ever comes to be, I think I will have died and gone to heaven.

Christmas in May

With Big Daddy out of town and large item pickup going on in the hood, I enlisted Boy Child to help me with some roadside shopping.  I live for this weekend and out of three children, he’s the only one who would be caught dead picking up stuff from the curb.  Lucky for me, his semester was over this week and since he’s moving into an apartment in August, I had my own little Jethro to heft our goods into the car.

Large item pickup is THE biggest holiday in town.  It is a chance to clean crap out of your garage and basement and then fill it again with other people’s cooler crap.  We struck out days ahead of time, cruising curbs.  Our early acquisitions included a rusty wagon that made me want to cry when I saw it cast away on the street, a mid-century cabinet for BC’s new apartment, a stash of frames, a plant stand and some wood boxes. 

By Friday afternoon, everything had ramped up and the curbs starting filling up.  My neighbor directed BC to 69th St. for chairs and me to 70th St. for fencing.  A friend called to say her neighbor just put stuff out and I needed to get to 64th St. ASAP for the good stuff.  Another neighbor called to say there was a door with my name on it on 72nd St.  Traffic was crazy here in Mayberry with scavengers hunting for retro/vintage stuff, metal and building materials.  Between perusing the curb, watching for parked cars and avoiding pickups, it got a little dangerous.

All afternoon I kept an eye on my neighbor’s curb because last year was the jackpot.  Sure enough, out it came and out I went.  I got a tour of the junk piled at the curb then a tour of the house and came home with an old trunk that they hadn’t even bothered to empty of an old wool blanket, photos and books.

It was a good haul and not to brag, but somebody must have been a good girl this year because Santa delivered.  Big time.

Technical Difficulties

For the last two days, blogger has been shut down, so even though you could read the blog, I couldn’t access it to post anything, which is o.k. because I didn’t have anything to write.  However, after a day of digging through trash and thinking, thinking, thinking, next week looks to have a couple of good stories.

Enjoy the weekend.  It’s time for Happy Hour in KC.

The Tide Has Turned

After about the 10th night of sleeping like CRAP, I told Big Daddy that I was a mess – a physical, emotional, flailing, sleep-deprived, basket case.  No plans, no goals, no energy, no nothing.  Then I checked my email.

The Lucky Monkey Deal of the Day happened to be 50% off hair removal.  Sometimes, fortune falls into your lap for no reason at all and before you know it, your mood and upper lip start looking better.  Much better.

The Comma

My first writing class in high school was with Mrs. Watts.  When she read about eating a cold piece of watermelon on a hot summer day, I said to myself hmmmm…..I want me some of that creative writing.  I loved her liked worshiped the ground she walked on.  She was fun, she was inspiring, she was the best class I had during those four years.

Maybe she taught this and I don’t remember or maybe I’m chronically stupid, but oh these commas make me craaaaaaaazy as in the loco.  I add them, read it over, delete them, put them back in.  I read my stuff out loud.  Did I pause?  Pause means comma, right?  It could also mean that I just remembered it’s 10:00 and I haven’t checked Garnet Hill’s Sale of the Day yet.  Big pause, quit writing, check out sale.  Sometimes, I read the paper and say hmmmmm……..I should put my commas there like they do.  And for awhile I do.  Then I forget, which happens when you make shit up as you go.  I’m perplexed. 

Perplexed?  Maybe I don’t need commas, after all.  Maybe I’m gonna get by on confidence, commitment and kick-ass vocab.