We moved to Kansas City from the Washington D. C. area with a five year old and a two year old. We rented for awhile before we bought this house so our little Teacher Girl went to kindergarten in one school and then 1st grade in another. I did not know a soul when we moved here. Combine that with being a stay-at-home mom and it’s a recipe for loneliness.
One day I got to the school a little bit early and let Boy Child work off some energy on the playground equipment. I noticed a group of women chatting nearby and recognized them as 1st grade moms. Oh, if only I had a group of people to talk to. After a few minutes, one of them walked over to me. Maybe today I’m going to make a friend. Instead she said to me, “You need to get him off of that. It’s for kindergartners only.” She walked away and I took a wailing two year old off the playground, and if I weren’t being watched so intently I would have wailed with him.
Over the years, I had these kinds of encounters with these kinds of moms all the time. THEY TALK REAL LOUD SO EVERYONE KNOWS THEY’RE IMPORTANT AND THEY’LL SAY THAT THEY HAVE GOT TO GET THEIR HIGHLIGHTS DONE, THEY’RE GOING TO THE CLUB FOR DINNER, BUFFY MADE THE TENNIS TEAM, JR. IS TAKING PRIVATE VIOLIN LESSONS THREE TIMES A WEEK, OF COURSE WE’RE GOING TO CANCUN FOR SPRING BREAK, DID YOU SEE MY NEW TENNIS BRACELET THE HUSBAND BOUGHT ME TO GO WITH THE NEW SUBURBAN, I KNOW HE’S THE BEST, AND I’M TALKING TO THE PRINCIPAL ABOUT THAT MRS. SO-AND-SO IN 4TH GRADE WHO MAKES BABY SHUT HIS PIEHOLE SO SHE CAN TEACH. It’s impossible to ignore them even though they’re experts at ignoring you.
It took me longer than I ever expected to make any friends that were of like mind, but I did and I also extended myself to anyone new that came to that school cuz God knows they needed somebody on their team. The friends I made back then are still my friends because instead of working on maintaining fake, we work on maintaining fun.
Sometimes I see those mean moms in the grocery store and would rather read an ingredient list on a bag of ice than make eye contact with them. However, if the day ever comes that our carts have a stand-off in frozen foods, I’m going to look Mrs. Self-Absorbed in the eye, smile and say what I should have said 18 years ago……….
I’m not moving and you can bite me.