Mallie Bee and I are going to Branson for a few days with her dance team for a national competition. Branson? Seriously? A few years ago when she got big into the dance thing, Big Daddy and I went to her first competition. Oh sweet Jesus in a leotard. It was like watching Toddlers and Tiaras and Tramps.
Big Daddy looked like he was either having an out-of-body experience or going to explode as we watched some of the most godawful dancing you can imagine. The highlight was when a couple of dads wheeled out a cage. With a kid inside. The music starts and she comes roaring out of the cage and her mom is behind us yelling, “WORK IT GIRL!!!!”
At the awards ceremony, Caged Animal Girl won a Sophisticated Gold. Nicely done pole dance routine. The sponsors of this dance cluster explained that some of the trophies were damaged in transit and replacement ones would be mailed. Big Mama with the tats says, “That’s so ghetto.” And I believe she would know what does and does not qualify as ghetto.
Big Daddy hasn’t sat through an entire competition since so he won’t be accompanying me. Too bad for him that he’ll miss out on all the fun and what’s sure to be an exciting evening when I go see Andy Williams and Yakov Smirnoff.