In researching whether or not I had leprosy, I had an afternoon consult with Dr. Google, who happens to be my favorite medical professional. While determining the severity of my condition, an advertisement for a Vagina Tightening Cream popped up. Ladies, do you fear a loose vagina? In a click of the mouse, I veered from skin disease to vaginas and found a variety of creams on the market for this condition with names like Lady Secret Serum, Tighten Up, Like a Virgin and Oh So Tight. Isn’t it time you recaptured your vagina’s youth?
I don’t like to keep a good thing to myself so I called my sister who had never heard of this either. They say it feels like the first time, I told her. “You mean to tell me that someone has actually invented a cream that can make you feel terrified?” she asked. Yes, apparently this is so. In fact, a very satisfied customer named Judy wrote a glowing review that said, “Thank you for thinking of this. I even told my mother.” Judy told her mother? We decided that Judy must have a slut for a mother because I can guarantee you that if we sat at the Olive Garden with our mom eating breadsticks and salad and then asked her if she was loosey-goosey in Ladyland, it would flat out kill her. Then we’d have to call the rest of our siblings to tell them how dear old Mom met her maker and that could have serious repercussions in the inheritance department.
Charlie from Florida wrote, “OMG! This has done amazing things for my sex life.” Hey Charlie, didn’t anyone ever tell you that women don’t have sex with men that say OMG? It took some investigating to find any bad reviews, but I did come across this……….”This product tended to have a fishy smell.”
For only $24.00 plus shipping and handling, you can feel eighteen again and smell like the Deadliest Catch. Now who could pass that up?