Mallie Bee turned 17 in July. Mallie Bee should be driving by now, but because of a lack of ambition on the part of her and her parents, she is not. She wants that to change. Now.
We started lessons this summer in the parking lot of a nearby church. All the Fisher kids have started in this parking lot. I am good with parking lots. The road? Not so much. The road is where my Anxiety Disorder shifts into high gear.
Merge anxiety. Drivers backing into me anxiety. Big intersection anxiety. Chemical spills on the road anxiety. That one I’ve never personally had any involvement in, but I’ve read about them. Things in the road that may cause me to swerve into oncoming traffic anxiety. That’s never happened to me either, but it could. Blind spots and blinding sun anxiety. I am the Old Country Buffet of behind-the-wheel anxieties.
I took The Beester on a little neighborhood drive and proceeded to clutch the passenger door and slam on pretend brakes. I made her a nervous wreck because I Am A Head Case. After Fright Night brought to you by Neurotic Mom, I told The Big Daddy that this is now his job. I am incapable of doing it and not turning her into a young version of myself.
That the world does not need.
