When The Teacher Girl was a mere baby, we had a two-door VW Jetta. About 99% of the time, we conked her head on the door frame as we were putting her in her car seat in the back. She’d start wailing and we’d console her, and before long I think she kind of expected it and quit crying.
We were that kind of stellar first-time parents.
During her baby years, my sister and her husband had a cute, old house that had a circular fireplace in the middle of the living room. It vented through the roof so there was a hole cut in their bedroom floor for the pipe. Like you could be upstairs and look through the hole to the first floor and tell The Captain to crack open another beer, you’re coming down for a cold one. Anyhow, Sister Jean, me and The Little Teacher Girl were upstairs looking at some new clothing purchases that the sis had made. We looooooooooove doing Retail Show and Tell. Little Teacher Girl was crawling by then so we both knew we needed to keep an extra close eye on her so she didn’t fall through the hole. All was going well until we both got distracted by the clothes and…………”Hey, where did that Little Varmint go?????”
Oh shit, we both thought at the same time and went tearing down the stairs. There sat The Little Teacher Girl on the floor and I’m no mind reader, but I think if she could talk she would have said………How the f*** did you two morons let this happen????
Lord. Have. The. Mercy. It scared the bejeezus out of us. And The Little Teacher Girl? Well, we think she slid down the pipe and landed on the floor diaper first. She didn’t make a peep, and I’m not sure if it was because she was so stunned by what had just happened to her or if all those times she got conked on the head had trained her for that day.