Yesterday I went for my annual physical. As those things go, it was rather 2nd rate. Nothing is wrong with me and I had to make no copay, so I guess I got what I didn’t have to pay for.
The subject of bone health came up, and though I used to be a devoted calcium taker, I quit the habit. Since The Queen Mum has osteoporosis and The Grand Mum had it before her, I have no business doing that. Before the doctor and med student had a chance to chastise me, I beat them to the punch. I know, I know. I have no excuse. Did I realize that just one fracture puts me at risk for more? Yes, I did. Am I aware of what happens to a person who has a hip fracture? Kinda. They usually die within six months to a year. Oh, no. In a nursing home. Yikes. Probably alone. Meh.
When they were done scaring the shit out of me about that they asked me this…………..
Do you still have intercourse? What???
Intercourse? Do you still have it?
I’ve never answered a bullshit question with anything but a bullshit answer and so I said, “Every day.”
Which will be hot-of-the-presses, front-page, late-breaking news to The Big Daddy.
