The Big Daddy has never been what you’d call “handy.” He says handy words like torque, stud, and molly bolt, or screams for A PHILLIPS…….I NEED A PHILLIPS, but he pretty much is faking any repair he attempts. In his efforts, he often uses too much force causing something that was slightly screwed up to becoming permanently screwed up. That results in me yelling at him and him yelling back about goddamn plastic Chinese parts.
We have a storm door with a retractable screen. The screen wasn’t locking into place so every time somebody would go in or out, the screen would start to slide down. I asked him to take a look at it since it wasn’t doing the AC bill any good.
Aw geez, I don’t know, he said. I’m thinking the house has settled and that door has shifted. I don’t know, I mean if it’s that…………geez it could be the foundation. Always the dark side when it comes to repairs. Let’s give it a try, I said and while he pushed up, I tried locking it into place. Let me just jimmy this door he said and oh dear God, here he goes, I thought. Pretty soon The Boy Child came along and together they got it up and locked into place.
An hour later, Mallie Bee decided to call her kittens home, unlocked the screen and pulled it down to which The Big Daddy bellowed…………WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? I WORKED ON THAT ALL DAY!!!!!! Or thirty minutes.
Well, she wasn’t aware that Mr. Fix-It had made a fix, so she went into the kitchen and got a fork out of the drawer and jammed up on the track with it while she locked the screen into place. It took her about thirty seconds start to finish………….
……………..and the children shall lead us. Especially around this cluster.
