I was driving to the bank the other day and saw a couple running. So young and fit. So cute in their workout wear.
Sigh. I wish I could be like that.
And sitting at that stoplight I said to myself, “Speckled Trout, you need to get off your speckled ass and make that happen.”
So last night I put on my black boot-cut yoga pants with the paisley top that was really expensive but that I got really cheap because the place was going out of business. I put on my turquoise and neon green Nikes that The Queen Mum got me for Christmas. I was outfitted for a jaunt on the treadmill like I was Lululemon herself.
To complete my workout, I turned on The Biggest Loser and pretended that Jillian was yelling at me.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
DON’T YOU QUIT!!!!!
YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL LIKE PUKING!
YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE FAT TRUTH!!!
Jillian kept me motivated and I finished The First Sweaty Workout of The First Day Of The Rest Of My Fit Life. I’ll be sore tomorrow I thought, and I will tell everyone that it is because “I worked out.”
I got myself a glass of water and that’s when I noticed the toilet paper hanging from the back of the waistband of my black, boot-cut yoga pants. The paper trail came to rest inside my underpants.
I. Am. Doomed.
