Our Ace hardware store was having a paint sale. Benjamin Moore paint. I’ve been a big fan and used to use it all the time, but when it hit the $60.00 a gallon price range I had to bid it farewell. I missed that paint, though, and so at 30% off I decided to date it again.
I went to the paint department and wandered the aisles looking for my Ben Impervo with no luck. That’s when Vic appeared.
I told him what I needed and he said because of the VOC it had been replaced by something else. “VOC, you know? Gets into the atmosphere. They banned the Impervo in California first then everywhere else. But heck, you can’t even grill a burger in that state.”
Really?
“No. That’s just my opinion.”
He sold me on all the features of this replacement including the fact that it is not oil based and cleans with water.
Sign me up, Vic.
While he was shaking the paint I picked out a Ben Moore brush for half price.
“Now what will you be using that for?”
Cutting in.
“Well, I can’t let you buy that. I made a living for 30 years as a painter. Did you ever notice the line from cutting in because I have. What you need is a wider brush and then you’re going to blend in with the roller and you won’t see that line.”
Okay.
“You have to give me that brush. I can’t let you buy that.”
I turned it over like a middle schooler busted with a pack of Kool Menthols.
My gallon of paint was done mixing and while Vic was putting it in my cart, I was putting some rollers in.
“Now what will you be using that for?”
The walls.
“I can’t let you buy that. You can’t go cheap on the rollers. Turn that over. You have to get his kind.”
And that’s how it usually goes with Vic The Paint Guy at Ace Hardware. On days when I have extra time and money, I love him. On my normal days I want to say………..
Vic, Vic, Vic……….
I have painted oil over latex and had a peeling mess on my hands. I have not primed when I should have. I painted white on white stripes on the bedroom walls and when I tired of it I had to sand and prime the whole thing to paint over it. Except behind the bed. If you move the bed you’ll see a five foot square of white on white stripes because I said screw it. I painted Maggie’s walls blueberry and then PAINSTAKINGLY painted a white picket fence around the whole bottom wall. The blueberry was too dark and the cutesy fence was a bad idea once she hit 13. I had Mark take down the drop ceiling on the screened-in porch and there was the most beautiful vaulted ceiling and beams. Then it took 13 gallons of primer and paint to cover that raw wood. I painted the kitchen cabinets and never followed the drying times. I painted the garage door and when I took the paint chip to be matched they didn’t have the formula so I said, “Give it your best shot” and so the door is lighter than the house because I wanted cheap paint fast. I have never NOT gotten my hair in the paint. My prep work is using my tshirt to dust the baseboards as I paint them and squeezing behind a dresser I’ve moved a foot away from the wall. I lean way too far away from the ladder so I don’t have to get down and move it a foot. I take Motrin every four hours because I know the next day going up and down that ladder is going to make me want to cry.
Vic, you’re an outstanding employee and an asset to the painting community, but Vic, despite your years of experience and best efforts, you don’t stand a chance of saving me from myself.
