If You Give A Trout A Paintbrush……….

Since I had FIVE days off in a row due to the 4th, I decided some sorely needed home improvement was going to take place around here.

Specifically, our bedroom which was last painted in 2003.  That also could have been the last time it was dusted.

I cleared some space and started on some built-in cabinets, doors and trim.  Vic says you should start with trim stuff first, then ceiling followed by walls.  Things were going well and it was amazing what a difference that white paint made and I was energized.  Before long we had to move the bed and so I went to Ace to get some Sliders and a gallon of ceiling paint.

Vic was there and we got to talking while my paint was mixing.  I told him how I crazy love hardware stores and he said, “I see you in here often.  Now what’s your name?”  I told him and that’s when he said…………”Kathy, are you married?”

Oh for crissakes, Vic, don’t go and ruin our great relationship trying to make a love connection in the paint aisle.

“Yeah, Vic, I am,” I said, and he said the good ones always are.  Ace is the place with the Flirty Hardware Man.

I came home and things went down the toilet pretty fast after that.  Crap everywhere, dripping messes, rolls of dust (we are slobs) and me laughing that scary, freaky laugh when a project that was my idea starts going incredibly bad.  The Big Daddy was not amused.  Not once this entire weekend did he think anything was funny.

We shoved everything off the bed in order to go to sleep Saturday night and I figured a new day would bring some new enthusiasm to the project.  I went back to Ace in the morning and got a quart of the color I was sure was going to look great.

I liked it.  I hated it.  It was gray.  No it was pink.  Maybe it’s the light.  Let’s try another wall.  I like it.  No I hate it.  What do you guys think?  Be honest.  Really, you don’t like it?  Why not?  Let me see the comforter again.  It’s perfect.  I love it.  I think.  No I don’t.  Do I even like this comforter?  Give me the paint deck.  What about beige?

It went on like that for hours and then I said screw it.  This bedroom will be Seattle Mist because I love Seattle and it’s going to look great and everybody needs to calm the heck down.  Or maybe just me.

I went back to Ace and Vic was working the paint counter.

“A gallon of Seattle Mist, please.  Shaken, not stirred.”

“Coming right up.  You still married?”

“Yes, Vic, I am.  But things have been a little dicey this weekend.”

“I hear that all the time in this business,”  he said.  “That’s why I keep checking.”

Oh Vic.

I love you.

I need you.

You make me crazy.

It’s like we’re already married.

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