Mark and I are headed out of town for a big road trip out West to search for our inner cowboy. He’s going for legit reasons and trying to wrangle some attention and money. I’m desperate to get out of Kansas and would go to the Quiktrip across the state line if we could make it last a couple of days.
I took the car in to make sure everything was in good driving condition for our long distance trek and mentioned that on occasion our car alarm goes off for no reason. It’s usually around 7:00 a.m. but about a month ago woke the neighbors up blaring at 4:00 a.m.
Back at home a few hours later, I got a call from the service department. “One of the back passenger locks is corroded which in turn is setting off the alarm. I can get you out the door for $565.00 and a little bit of tax,” the service writer said.
“I don’t think so,” I replied. “Forget it. It doesn’t happen that often and I’m not paying that much money to fix a lock.”
“Well, what are you willing to pay?”
“What? This is negotiable? We can do Let’s Make A Deal for car repairs? Why didn’t you tell me this when the last one rang up at $1200.00?”
“I’m just trying to fix your problem to your satisfaction, m’am. I’ll look for a used part and call you back.” Magically the call back (even without the used part) came in at a reduced price of $395.00.
I didn’t bite. “Put it back together. I’ll be in shortly.”
“Well, m’am,” she said, “I sure would hate for your alarm to trigger and cause the dome light to come on and drain the battery. Could leave you stuck in the middle of nowhere. You did say your were going out west, right? That would be awful to have that happen where it’s a bit more remote.”
“Sheesh,” I thought to myself. “That one should have been an actress.”
A few days later a guy came around selling pest control. “Spiders, mice, mosquitoes. We spray the perimeter to secure the house and form a barrier that they can’t penetrate. I guarantee you that your spider population will go down to practically nothing.”
I stood in the house while he went on and on and on and for the life of me I couldn’t think of the last time I even saw a spider.
“You know,” I said, “I just don’t have that problem and even if I did I’m not afraid of them.”
“Mice, m’am. We’ll kill the mice. You’ve gotta have plenty of those running around with the creek and all.”
“We do but I have two cats. They rip their heads off and leave them at the back door.”
“Do you know two ants mating can produce 300,000 ants? Think of that. Hundreds of thousand of ants trying to get in the house.”
“You have to go,” I said. “You’re wearing me out.”
“We only use organic chemicals,” he yelled as he walked away.
“Sheesh,” I thought to myself. “That one thinks he’s the Rodent Whisperer.”
Two days later the alarm went off, a mouse ran right in front of me by the garage door and a big spider was on the trash can.
I didn’t blink.
Maybe I already am a cowgirl.
.