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When I drop my daughter off at her high school, I love to watch the kids walking in. Some are carrying coffee and seem full of energy, some are goofing around with friends, some preoccupied and some half-awake. I’m always curious about what the future will hold for them and would like to tell them that for those of us far removed from high school, we anxiously wait.

There are very few states that aren’t facing serious budget crises and in our state education looks to be in for some very rough waters. I have watched money all of my adult life. I’ve never had enough of it to make me worry less but my husband and I will not compromise on our kids’ education. That always has come first and so we save and fret and save and worry and save some more so that all of them will be able to go to college. We could use a vacation from that worry but that is many years away.

To hear education discussed as a long-term problem (like an in-law who’s over-stayed their welcome) instead of an investment with huge payoffs down the road is disturbing. If educating our youth is not the top priority of any society, what does our future look like? When those kids with all that potential walk by us, are we to tell them that their plans and dreams and future are up for grabs because instead of saving for their future, we took the vacation?

I’ve reached a point in my life where I can be in the middle of a story, get distracted for a milli-second and then completely lose my train of thought. Sometimes, I glance out the car window, turn back to my husband to continue and I have no clue what I was just talking about. It. Happens. All. The. Time. I’ve seen it happen to him (although it doesn’t seem as frequently but maybe he talks less) and friends as well. When it’s happening to you, though, it’s embarrassing, scary (is this the beginning of my memory end), funny and frustrating.

This morning I didn’t even try to cover it up. It was too early to try to wordplay my way into the deep recesses of my brain and retrieve the forgotten info so I put it to him this way:

Would you mind telling me what I was just talking about because even I wasn’t listening to me?

If you’ve lived under a rock for the last few years, you might not be aware that birds are everywhere in the decorating world. This is all the funnier because just today I bought a plate with, you guessed it…..birds and why do we all drink the same kool-aid over and over and over again?

Yesterday I got my teeth cleaned. I have not gone in a year. I have such dental phobia that the timing has to be precise. Early a.m. so I don’t have too much time to think about it. Immodium for the pre-diarrhea feeling that kicks in as soon as I get to the parking lot. Tapping of the foot when the xray machine comes swinging around to keep my mind off the xray machine. Counting the ceiling tiles. Chatting excessively with the hygienist to prevent her from doing her job. Heavy tapping of the foot when she goes to find the dentist to have a look at my teeth.

I made it through without incident although after the xrays were taken, I could have spit that hunk of cardboard rammed into the back of my mouth clear across the room. The bad news was delivered again. You need a crown on your back tooth SOON. There isn’t much tooth left and it’s going to break if it doesn’t get a crown.

Big, big sigh. I’m a dental basket case because I’ve been a head case for a long time and at some point I will put my big girl panties on and get it over with.

Who does one talk to in order to get an Immodium i.v.??

I’m really, really trying to eat better. Less meat and bread, more fruits and veggies. I’ve always eaten breakfast, just not the healthiest kind and so (for the hundredth time) I am attempting to eat oatmeal in the morning.

This time I bought a hazelnut blend, added some water, cooked it in the microwave for a minute and a half and then added chopped almonds. First, I don’t like cereal. Second, I don’t like mushy food. Third, oatmeal has absolutely no color. Day one went pretty well, but by the second day I couldn’t even gag half of it down. Why does it have to taste like paper towels?

I thought about using my uneaten oatmeal to spackle some nail holes but it was too lumpy so I dumped it in the trash. The dog watched the whole thing and even he wasn’t interested. Another food fail but we happened to have some tasty oatmeal cookies, and wasn’t that a stroke of luck to get my daily dose of a filling breakfast after all?

This weekend at church was a heavy-duty Gospel reading about sin. Eye for an eye, cut off the right hand of the thief, divorce, adultery. Halfway through, I wanted to raise my hand and ask if they could shorten this all up for us and state what wasn’t a sin. I was beginning to lose interest and then they got to the part that said if you look at another with lust you are committing adultery. That little line changed the whole ball game.

Call me a sinner and ready the staircase to hell because I only look at Colin Firth with lust. I’ve always liked him but since seeing “The King’s Speech” I’m in love, love, love, love, crazy love with him. In interviews he’s humble, funny and charming which makes a good BF. He also is drop dead gorgeous which makes an even better BF.

God will determine when we’ll meet but when he does I’ll explain that the winter of 2011 was ridiculously long and cold and Colin made my heart race. In all those pre-Oscar interviews when he looked at the camera, it was as if he was looking straight at me and I suddenly got very warm. It was self-preservation in some hard times. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Disclaimer: The fact that this was written on Valentine’s Day is a pure kawinky dink 😉

Every time I see an infomercial, I think I’ve seen everything and then this comes along. Looking good and taking some pride in your appearance has completely left the building. Behold the Pajama Jean……….. I kid you not.

After a rough night’s sleep, I dragged my weary butt to the kitchen where a full pot of coffee was ready and waiting for me. How I love the genius who thought to put a timer on a coffee maker. If only they could put one of those on me 🙂

I know that there have been numerous studies done on the teenage brain. Sleep, school starts, peer pressure, bullying, food intake, food outake, GPA, college entrance essay, but there is only one study I’m really interested in.

Somebody with some credentials behind their name needs to tell me why teenagers never, and I mean NEVER, get rid of an empty shampoo bottle in the shower. You go to clean the thing and they’re falling on your head, into the tub and over the tub, and all of them are empty. I’ve gone so far as to call family meetings about this and the guilty look up from Facebook and nod and it feels as though my message is getting through. Not so as nodding is nothing more than a coping mechanism for teenagers with pain-in-the-ass mothers.

Some families have mission statements regarding the direction they want their family to go spiritually, financially and academically. I’m merely asking not to get hit in the head by a plastic bottle and since all previous methods have failed, I’ve decided to adopt the mission statement practice as well.

IF YOU LEAVE AN EMPTY SHAMPOO BOTTLE IN THE SHOWER, IT WILL NOT BE REPLACED WITH A FULL ONE. YOUR HAIR WILL BEGIN TO SMELL LIKE DOG AND YOU WILL NEVER GET A DATE WHICH WILL MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE AND GET AWAY FROM YOUR PARENTS. THIS CAN HAVE ONLY THE WORST RESULTS FOR BOTH OF US. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE DOING.

Too wordy?

How about this? You need to clean up after yourself, so help me God.

It was a hot August night when I went on a blind date to Denny’s with a pretty cute guy. When he parked the car, he hit the concrete block jerking us both forward and I said, “Well, I guess this means we’re here.”

Last weekend we went to a movie as Cute Guy declared it Date Night. When it was time to go, he went out the door first and then let it fly in my face. I got in the car and told him that when Barack and Michelle go on a date, I bet he doesn’t let the door hit her on the way out. He said, “Barack doesn’t even have to hold the door open for himself let alone his wife.”

After the movie, we walked to the parking lot and wandered around for a bit because neither one of us remembered where we parked the car. Thirty three years after that Denny’s date, we’re still a couple of smart asses trying to find our way.