Next door to us lives two professional women who are a couple. We love having them as neighbors, and remarkably they aren’t attempting to break up our marriage. They have good jobs, nice cars, great house, trips a few times a year, steak on the grill, wine from a bottle instead of a box. Here at Green Acres, The Big Daddy and I make it up as we go and make tuition payments.
Every spring our screened-in porch is some kind of cluster or another. We are always repairing and/or repainting and it seems to me that they sweep theirs off and next thing they’re talking over a cocktail while we’re ten days and a gallon of paint away from having any fun.
It pisses me off.
This year things were different on the other side of the fence. They had a repairman there for FIVE days. A new door, rescreening, repainting. There was some kind of buck$ getting shelled out and I tsked tsked the misfortune next door.
While I was basking in the glow of superiority, Lowe’s delivered some suh-weet outdoor furniture for their soon-to-be-totally-redone porch. I looked at my curbside/vintage/garage sale finds strategically placed so the hole in the screen where the squirrel came in and the whole in the screen where the squirrel went out weren’t so obvious and thought one thing…..
Loser.
